c'est la vie

Who do you think you are?!

2012-01-23T07:57:00.000-08:00

This probably the most angry and sad Chinese new year I ever had in my entire life!

Who do you think you are?
I'm not trying to be rude here but
FUCK you!!
Even I am your own daughter, you don't have the right to judge me or to scold me in the first day of cny!!

Come on, old fashioned!!
Even if we doing something wrong,so what?!
It's not that I forcing your daughter to do so using a gun or blackmail her!!!
We both are wiling to do so and we are happy about it!!
Isnl't that own daughtet's happiness and future is more important that your face?!

Tell you what, I can actually straight fuck you in the phone or just hang it off
But I respect you, I respect you as a uncle, as my friend's father
However, you don't seem to care about my feeling and you take this as granted
Come on, I am not your family members, I am just one of your daughter's friend that you barely know about
And you scold me and question me like hell?!
Is it consider moral to you?
Did you learn your moral at school? Did your parents ever teach you how to respect others?
Even though you are older than me and you experience more than me
Even though you talking all that bullshit as a role of a father
However, I think it too over for me!!!
You don't own any rights to question me about your daughter's recent action!!
Isn't that you should ask yourself first? Why would your daughter become like this?

I can be very open to my parents, i told them everything about my friend and they didn't question me about this
In fact, they are very surprise to hear about your way to protect your daughter
It is ridiculous for them and this sound so old fashioned
You said you trust her and you give her full freedom
However, the time you questioned me about our simple and pure relationship, it shows that you don't have complete trust on her
Giving full freedom isn't mean that you can message me instead of calling me to inform us about your locations or what
It just doesn't mean that!!!

I understand how you feel as she the only child to you
However, I am also the only daughter to my parents
Why my parents can trust me completely and not disturbing my personal life or interfere with my friends or my social circle and you CAN'T do anything to that?!

If you want to talk, sure I can talk with you
Please do remember personal talk mean talk, not questioning or scolding
I don't want to fight with you
And please trust your daughter
She is a good girl and she does listen to you, she loves her family more than her friends
Lastly, please believe us
We are really truly friend, just friend.....

Watever

2011-12-22T08:23:00.000-08:00

Whatever you said
Whatever you promised
Whatever you wanted to tell me
Whatever you going to tell me
Whatever is it
WHATEVER!!!

I will never trust you!!
I will never believe that!!

Because I know
It will NEVER going to happen!!!

You know it is impossible
You knew it!!!

Don't make fake promises
Don't give me false hope
Don't ever try to fool me
Don't pretend to be good to me
Don't lie to me
Don't!!
JUST DON'T DO THAT TO ME!!!

IT'S ENOUGH!!!

Am I expect too much from you?
Am I?
Probably I shouldn't expect things from you which I, myself couldn't even promise...
Ya, I am sorry
I thought you love me THIS much but it actually turns out the other way..
I am SORRY!!

Don't feel upset
Don't feel sad
Don't feel disappointed
Don't feel disgrace

It's all my fault
I put too much expectation on you
It's all about ME
I am so sorry about that..

Probably we shouldn't started out...
Probably......

fight fight fight!!

2011-11-23T06:55:00.000-08:00

Oh my....why others are always better than me??
why am I always be the last??
I did work hard on it?? But why??

I don't care
I must fight back my dignity next sem!!
YOU!! no matter who is it...WAIT for it!!!
I will definitely break all your glasses!!!

FIGHTING!!!!

2011-10-25T00:44:00.000-07:00

Should I be that angry? Should I?

I don't know

2011-10-24T04:31:00.000-07:00

YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME!!!!

Don't try to judge me

Don't try to challenge me

Don't try to dictate me

I hate that!!!!

I DO CARE!!

2011-10-20T03:00:00.000-07:00

Well, it really does ruin my mood. Come on, the reason I look for you is to get some comforts and soothe me..

It not that I doesn't care, it not that I am not nervous, it not that there still time for me to waste, it just no that!!

I don't need to tutor, I don't need a teacher, I don't need anyone to tell me what I have to do, what I should do or what exactly do I need to do. I'm not a child anymore, I can handle myself pretty well, I don't need any lessons for that, I'm fine with what I'm doing right now.

I, myself is a 21yrs old adult, I know how to manage my time, I know how to handle my study and of course, I do know what is NERVOUS!! YES, I am nervous and I really do. Sadly, you know nothing about it! You don't understand me!! What you said just now really ruin my mood!! Why you sound like I already give up everything and like I don't care, don't bother about it. Come on, I DO bother and I DO care!!

I really hate it!! Now, I really feel like giving up and not to do anything just because of what you said!! I thought you know me well but it turns out you doesn't, you just pretend that you know everything about me.....

I need comfort, I need people to support me, I need someone who care about me, I need someone who will always be there for me, I need someone who can understand me, I need someone who can encourage me...

I don't need someone who said I'm not nervous, I don't need someone to give me lessons. I DON'T NEED IT, HONESTLY!!

I am an adult and I know who am I, you don't need to worry about it!!

is that so?

2011-04-17T07:45:00.000-07:00

I really can't understand why people are stubborn?

Why they can't view thing from the other side?

Why they keep thinking what they do are always right?

Why can't they try to change their track?

Why is that so?

Is it because they are who they are and they just can't be changed and can never be changed?

I don't know....but what I really know it....the world is much better and full of hope if you see thing from the other way around....

Life is beautiful and full of unexpectation....although it still full of challenges but it quite fun because you will never know how far you can go.....the most interesting part about life is....you will never know what lies in front of you if you keep backing up and not willing to take up your challenges.....

I am glad that I enjoy my life till fullness now and I am always ready for the challenges coming up....

YES!! I AM READY!!

COME ON!!!

problem

2011-04-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I don't like to fight with others...and I really don't like the situation that I am facing now...I am really fed up for this...

Why do we keep arguing about this issue, I thought we already have agreement for this...I thought you are ok already...probably is me who overestimate your EQ....

I don't like this....I really don't like this!!!

Every time when you raising this topic, I really feel like running away...I want to escape from this....

I hate it very much!!! Why can't you think in other way around?Why you keep thinking in that way? Is it fun for you to argue with me?

I really think that if we keep on arguing on the same topic...our distance will be pulled as far as possible....I would try to tell lie...but I don't want this to happen...I really don't...

horoscope?personality?

2011-04-09T09:35:00.000-07:00

I am wonder, is it true that one's personality is determined by his/her horoscope?

Or...it nothing about horoscope...

I am wonder about this, can someone has an answer for me?

In my point of view, I am not sure that is my personality being occupied by my horoscope...but I think that it's quite true in someway...

I don't like to being controlled by others, I don't like to follow what others instruct me to do, I like to break the rules, I don't like others to be angry with me just because he/she doesn't like me to befriend with someone....

YES! I am a gemini....a gemini who always looking for freedom and hates other to control me!!!

Stop or move??

2011-04-06T08:18:00.000-07:00

Stop or move on? that is a BIG question for me

Actually, there should be no choice for me

This is what I chose, this is what I like, but it killing me now

I can never imagine that I will end up like this

Life is full of unwillingness, pressure, stress, weary....

I have only negative view about life at this moment and I don't like it, seriously

Sometimes, I actually look back, keep thinking that "am I actually making the right decision?", "what would I be if I not coming back?", "am I regretted?".....

I don't like answer question, especially question like this......I cannot regret for what I've chose...

BUT sometimes I feel like quit....am I really that fragile or maybe lazy?unable to take stress?useless?

YES, I am useless all the time....I can't do anything...I can't....

but I can't stop or quit...no because of myself but also for my family....my parents have high expectation on me...I can't disappoint them...I've once hurt them and let them down...I am not going to let that happen again...

sigh....nothing I can really do....what can I say....c'est la vie....

April Fool?!

2011-04-06T08:11:00.000-07:00

I hate it when I have so many things to do at the same time

I hate it when I am not feeling so well

I hate it when my stomach not feeling well

I hate it when I am in a bad mood

I hate it when I seriously need someone to be with me now, but there is no one around

I hate it when I need someone to talk to, it can only be done on facebook, msn, sms

I hate it when I am so moody for everything

I hate it when there is a test coming and I still unwilling to study for it

I hate it when things are only being half done

I hate it when there is no one understand me

I hate it when I am depressed or stress, all I can do is to complain in this F*** place!

!I hate it when I hate myself

I don't like this AT ALL!!

annoyed

2011-03-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

dunno y recently feel like so annoying...thr are so many things going on...even though they are not quite urgent or important...if i cn say dat...all the assignments, reports, exams really push me to a dead end...i gt no way bak n i cn onli keep moving forward by doing all of those one by one...n finish all of them no matter if im capable of o wat.....haiz....sometimes...u will c going to university is good but i tell u wat.....it sux at all times!!! esp when all the workload coming together and when the deadline is coming nearer and nearer....all u feel is onli PRESSURE, STRESS and nothing else.....i reli wish i cn enjoy my university life....bt it came out dat i ct....dunno y recently im so worried about everything in U.....although thr no class test coming....bt i still think of studying dat..i keep thinking dat i mite fail or not doing good enuf for my test.....n keep on thinking i DUN hav time!!!!yes!! TIME!!! omg....time is all i need at this moment....keep doing assignments and reports...walao ye...dat is enuf to make me breathless....i NEED air!!! i need freetime...n overall...the most important is....though i so worry about everything...i still NOT willing to do dat....i m way too LAZY at all times!!!gosh!!can anyone help me from being dat lazy???? not feel so good recently....reli wish dat i cn actually pass tis sem without resit any exam....dat will be reli THANK GOD!!!

the very first day

2011-01-01T04:43:00.000-08:00

Really can't imagine that my New Year is that BORING.....haiz...it's actually nothing special on this day..everything still the same...earth still turning...I am still breathing...people still working, chatting, shopping...what else can I expect??Actually, I don't have an answer for myself as well....

Doing the same old thing today....watching drama, online, and the most important is keeping my facebook updated....haha

So, now I only wish to have something busy with..at least I won't be that bored....

last thing in 2010

2010-12-31T07:52:00.000-08:00

To be honest, I don't feel happy at this moment....I know there are lots of people now waiting for the countdown and enjoy their happy times with friends and families...but I am now alone in my small bedroom looking at my lappy...this is the most boring new year eve that I ever have in the last 20 years of my life...it is so quiet and there is no fireworks, no crowd, no shouting, no one sitting beside me, nothing at all....

Till now.....I am only realize and have the courage to admit that....ya...I am a LONER...for sure...and I feel bad for that...

Heart feels so uncomfortable and really do feel like crying now....I want to talk to someone but all of them are so busy for celebrating..they are all enjoy themselves and having laugh with their own friends and families..hell..there is absolutely no way that I am going to disturb them....and most important thing is..I really don't feel like talking now...

OMOG....I really sux....

How

2008-11-23T06:52:00.000-08:00

how do i cope wif stress nw i really dunno could somebody pls help me here i m so stress......gonna die y m i always live under every1 expectation i m expect to do good to be good bt i m NOT i dun wan to live in dat way putting too much pressure on me i really ct imagine d consequences!!!!!!god
mayb juz let it go let it be i think should isolate meself in someway else so noone cn ever find me haha

annoying

2008-11-21T10:37:00.000-08:00

it really annoying so dreadful nv hav so much pressure on me nw n i m nw really f***cking fed up could somebody tell me wat to do i really dunno wat to do nw i really hate study y is every1 born here is to study to get into good college to get a good job to hav a family n work till retire till ur children r able to raise themselves bt wat it all bout it not bout ME it about d others i hav to do good to impress others NO i dun wan tis i wan to live ONLY for myself doing watever i wan i really HATE eng n french HELP i dunno hw to do me hw it really shit lah i hate it Y Y Y Y Y Y Y!!!!!!
forget bout it no matter wat u still hav to finish it do it good shit lah haiz.............really fan lah!!!!

Happy Halloween

2008-11-09T11:38:00.000-08:00

although i noe it abit late to say it bt wanna share some little things here haha btw i went to Dublin on Halloween it damn cold thr even though i wore 3clothes altogether include a thick coat all i can say if F*** d weather haha wat v doing up thr haha SHOPPING of course nth else however v bought nothing cz NO MONEY haiz dat all i cn say bt it quite fun to be thr ca it halloween n every1 else doing 'cosplay' haha n some really did scare me haha i think d most happy is i ate some delicious food hha SUSHI which is qiute expensive bt still worth it......i ct live without it haha n the main dish is malaysian food walao living in a foreign country still can eat those food i think i m really lucky bt u guys live in malaysia r more luckier den me o.......

dat day is d 1st day of d release of 007 so we sure watched lah bt alll i cn say is it damn boring it is d most stupid 007movie i ever see.......d cinema also so beh lah......not like pavilion's......so dun be stupid k haha i wanna watch HSM3 but dun hav good review as well so wait.......for d DVD watsoever haha...so nw 'enjoy' d pics lah

LV.......walao so many cctv geng!!

every1 noe london bridge nw here is 'Ireland Bridge'tis a.............STREET wif lots of ppl haha A timberland little shoe tis is a chocolate made delicate for the Queen wat is he doing?taking part too a baby reindeer

Again~~

2008-09-25T12:24:00.000-07:00

i really hate French and today we r going to write a film review but i didn't watch it how could i suppose to know what its about jeez.....
juz wrote a few lines down whatever i don't care
tomorrow got Maths test OMG everyday test test test so what what the hell wrong with Leaving Cert har got to do lots of tests due to the exams meh?stupid school stupid teacher stupid tests and STUPID FRENCH jeez anyhow no needanymore juz 1 yr to go den say sayonara to this school hahaahahahaahahaha!!!tis is the suxk reviewl'enfant wat is d f***k

f***cking subject

2008-09-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

i really hate French so fcuking hate it especially during oral OMG can't really pronounce it

tomorrow we going to watch a FRENCH movie!! for fcuk sake i m not going anyway it's so boring gad damn it really fcuking hate it French the most hardest and fcuking subject in the world sorry i m not insulting those who really do like French but i m not i have to learn French Caz it's me second language jeez....y m i in this stupid country forgodsake but thanks god i got a day off tomorrow due to the FRENCH movie hahahhaahaha i m now fed up!!!!!! Hope that i m sick that day buhahahahah!!!

ehm.....i dun want lah!!!!!!

NOVEAU

2008-09-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

hei everi1 hw r ye actually tis is me first blog even though gt so many others blogs be4 bt had forgot all of them hahhaa
ne i tis d first day i started me blog kinda feel complicated cz i wanna hav a own blog bt on d other hand i m so lazy to update tis blog think i m a irresponsible blogger even thr r hundreds out thr hahaha
hei guys wanna meet me check out me friendster acc if u had 1 o u cn add me in msn
so d add is tingzhi90@hotmail.com
tq for reading me bullshiting even thoung tis wat blog meant to be hahaha
nice to meet ye btw
GOOD LUCK to everi1 here!!